Singing in Sanscrit
About three years ago, I decided to look into North Indian classical singing because I found it both intriguing (it was foreign) and difficult (it was foreign). I wrote once that “Foreign is a word for fear,” which I think is true but in context I mean to imply that fear can be useful because if you do enter the foreign, there’s a good chance you’ll grow. I decided on ragas rather than another foreign music not because I aspired to wear a bindi and go around in saris but because every time I heard them I’d felt something profound wash over me. Now, though the ragas I’d been exposed to were specific to the Hindu religious tradition, what they’d roused in me had nothing to do with religion. Bach makes me feel similarly and I’m not Christian either.
When I started studying with Swathi, she and her husband— who was and still is getting his PhD—and their twelve year old son Babu, were living in an apartment complex called Camelot. My first lesson almost didn’t happen because by the time I found the right apartment I’d meandered around the lettered buildings so long that Swathi would have been justified if she’d decided I wasn’t coming and gone out. But being herself, she’d waited, and when I did finally find her, she didn’t comment but held the door open and motioned me to one of the two folding chairs she’d set out in her living room, whose only other furniture was a bicycle, leaning against the wall. I’d asked for group lessons but since Swathi had said she preferred to teach me by myself, I was the only person there. Her first question was whether I wanted to study North or South Indian music. I wasn’t sophisticated enough to know the difference, so she explained that the main one is that South Indian (carnatic) music demands absolutely precise rhythm. Being the girl who when she sang in night clubs used to bang a tambourine that she could hear got a little more off the beat with each jingle but didn’t know what to do about, my answer to that one was a non-issue.
Swathi’s second question was whether I wanted her to teach me the traditional way or in what she called “the Western short-cut” way. The correct answer to that was obvious enough that after a moment of western hesitation, I said “traditional.” “Traditional” turned out to mean six months of singing nothing but exercises (alenkars) but that was a good thing because there was a lot to learn.
The first challenge that confronted me was replacing do-re-mi with their Sanscrit equivalents—sa re ga ma pa dha ni sa– each of whose much longer name I was given but (Swathi, if you read this, forgive me) immediately forgot. The second challenge (which I’m not close to mastering) was that in Hindu tradition, unlike in western, each note has its own personality. The relationship between notes, too, turns out to be philosophically important. For instance, whole books have been written about the relationship between sa (one) and ga (three). And whereas in western music, the fifth of the scale tends to dominate, in Indian music it’s the fourth. This is reflected in the fact that some scales begin with four, rather than with the root note while others, like Raga Moorva, the scale I’m learning now leave the fifth out completely.
Internalizing just what I’ve already described would take a lifetime but at least lack of mastery of the relationship between notes doesn’t stop a student from singing. But what does, and where I really fall down has to do with something Swathi told me in one of my very first lessons: that if I want to sing this kind of music I’ll have to give up the visual. She explained what she meant this way: that when a western musician plays a piece, he or she almost always sees something. Even if she doesn’t read music, she’ll still see something, whether it’s keys moving or an imaginary hand rising and falling. When I protested that Indian musicians beat time, as Swathi does with her hand, turning the palm up or down to indicate sound or rest, so they must visualize Swathi said no, that with Indian musicians, their hands follow the music not the other way around.
Now Swathi’s advice to avoid the visual may have been rooted in the fact that in India music is an oral not a written tradition, but wherever it came from, it was quite right for this westerner. I got away with visualizing piano keys as long as the scales I was singing in weren’t too complicated. But now they are, unless I give up visualization, of keys or anything else, I can’t sing even close to speed nor can I make the jumps the music demands. When I think about it, Swathi’s advocacy for the right brain made perfect sense from the beginning. I just hadn’t brought it across. Early on, she had told me that we carry the seven notes of the scale inside our bodies, and that they’re in us all the time not just when we happen to be singing. And those seven notes, she went on, contain the whole universe. And all of that, I now see, describes perfectly the way I experience poetry. First, however small a fine poem, it does contain the whole universe. And second, my poems do live in my body not my mind. I’ve reading from memory since long before slams and spoken word came into vogue. And after almost every reading, someone says, how can you remember all that? You must have amazing memorization skills. And when I say, not really, it isn’t false modesty because in fact I’ve never memorized any of my poems. I just know them. Maybe some day I’ll be able to translate that feeling into singing in Sanscrit. I hope so. But even if I never do, just learning how much we who try for art are alike under the skin and how similarly holy all arts are will have validated, and more, every moment I’ve spent in that folding chair.