Cento V

"When in doubt, do nothing."
                              —Marcus Aurelius.
To do it week after week, & keep one's sanity,
is quite a trick.
                    I am in doubt.
Cocktail parties with martinis & uninteresting guests—
nobody much gives a damn whether you write
or take dope or read the American Magazine.
                                                  I play things like
"What Is This Thing Called Love?" & "St. Louis Blues"
on the Steinway concert grand in the music room.
                                        I wish awfully that you
would come back to N.Y. for a while.
Last night,
          found an album of Bix Beiderbecke
records buried among Bach & Shostakovich.
                                        All were dutifully played.
Late in the evening, sitting out in the hallway,
quite alone, on the cooling radiator, head in hands.
So much to say, & as you once said:
          some things just don't get into letters.